Rested Resident

I saw a story where someone bought their own coffin and another dug their own grave- both full of health, not dying soon, they seemed. But they did this so that in the event they died, their family would not undergo a financial crisis. Have you ever wondered how it will be when you die? “It is God who takes”, a friend once told me they do not like that quote of scripture, even when they leave, and they would not appreciate it as a slogan for their ceremony. Yet we shall all have to depart. Some of us find it a taboo to speak about the afterlife or make preparations of the leaving ceremony while still alive. Let me interest you in a tour of the rested residences. For just a brief moment, think about it, not how it is going to happen but how it will be when it happens. For example, who might cry or miss you the most? Which funeral home ill handle your corpse? Who will come near your lifeless figure to pay their last respect or give you the last dress up? So many questions- yet we may not have clear answers even if we prepared to the last dot. Many people get their wishes granted when they stop breathing. Some people want to use your demise to make money while others use the opportunity to misuse your money. Funerals are perceived as celebrations to remember the soul that has left but also to celebrate life for those alive. It never occurs to us that we might be next although we have experienced near death misses at times but the fullness of life helps us forget the thought by interacting with our dear ones or going on with our daily routines.

There is a meme going round saying, “When I die, I will haunt some people. I have a list’. It sounds funny, being the haunter but when roles are reversed you do not want to be haunted. Some unsettled spirits have been said to roam around giving restless days or nights to those who wronged them or those they cannot release. In many funeral sermons we are reminded to evaluate our lives even as we mourn for those who are gone, to make things right with the people around us and our maker before the undertaker comes calling, which we seldom do.  Death does not only select the sick but it has happened to the most healthy, the rich and poor, both the young and old, hungry or satisfied also men or women. Even some doctors have failed to predict a precise time of its occurring, but it still comes to the suspecting or less expecting.

There are some insurance products in the market offering the prospect amounts of claim money that would be paid to their next of kin once they are gone. Some of the packages spell out the kin of ceremony that can be accorded to the deceased or the family members affected. If you are going to live your life to the fullest, give the fullest to those around you. We may not know the date, time or moment but that season will come whether you prepare or not. If you can talk to those close to you let them know where you wish for your final resting place to be or how to handle your body. Some would prefer cremation others do not mind being paraded for viewing, some want private ceremonies while others will attract gatherings. Public or private events will not make a difference, the end is inevitable.

Watch your Words!

You become what you feed, you speak what you read, and whatever you take in makes whatever you give out! What and who do you listen to, what feeds your mind and soul? The way to one’s heart is through the eyes just as the way to one’s mind is the ears.  When you hear no evil, no evil will be heard from you. If you always hear words of discouragement you will become depressed, but words that uplift you will give you confidence to face any huddle. This is why parents soften their tone with their children and teach them correct words to use during conversations. Words have the power to bless or curse, can inspire growth or cause death. Another statement is parents have the power to bless or curse, Go figure!Ladies have always been told from a young age what is expected of them in the house, cook, clean, how to associate and how attend to family needs. Some have always been compared to the neighbors’ children and have certain standards set for them. Girls have always been subjected to following orders and conduct themselves with discipline compared to their brothers who could get away with anything, after all they are boys, and they are allowed to mess. Most ladies are not best friends with their mothers since the mothers have always had the sharpest and loudest voices ringing in the girls heads. The mothers being too strict with the girls so that they do not end up like them, make their mistakes or walk their paths reliving their history. This has made mothers to talk without care for the girls who feel unloved and less appreciated. The bond between a mother and a son is another discussion, however, the relationship between a mother and a daughter is a scope which if properly investigated can end a lot of woes for all women. I am speaking of girls who had bad relationships with their mothers and intern got married and were subjected to bad environments with their mother-in-laws, had daughters and gave them the same dose who go along the same system leading to women who cannot trust and rely to their fellow sex mates. And we are here screaming that men make better bosses than our female counter-parts.Women have to come out and address this issue boldly so as to heal and move on to raise another generation of young girls who are not bitter about other females and do not see their sisters as competitors. Women empowering women should host talks with a grandmother who will be forgiven by the daughter who is a mother to a girl who is so insecure because she still hears her mother’s voice from early morning till bedtime directing her every move into perfection just like how her mother told her. I wish women can genuinely show love to their daughters and raise up sisters who can confide in each other and share freely their fears without being judged or made to feel inferior. Let us stop seeing the female bosses as a threat, the mother-in-law as a monster or the younger lady as a husband snatcher. Let us stop making victims out of women by creating vulnerable situations that contradict their standards. Dear mothers, do not give your daughters a hard time growing up at the expense of your sons; Raise your sons o accord respect to the females which they see you raising them in.