So Motherly

It is such joy to be called a mother and quite a novel experience. Carrying a human being for 9 months and being responsible for its health, growth and security until it is brought into the world. Being a mother is such a great honor if you get to walk out of the hospital holding your bundle of joy and watching it blossom into a mature adult. The work of a mother is never really done even after the children fly away from home, she is quite irreplaceable. Mothers are the only full time professionals (chef, nurse,lawyer, entertainer, doctor, teacher, pastor/priest, soldier, driver or hairdresser) who do not paid for their job or get minimum recognition. They also have superpowers noted when they experience so much pain during delivery, having the ability to understand baby language and the sixth sense to know that their offspring is troubled. Let us note that they make huge sacrifices by using their bodies as incubators which undergoes major changes as if they deliberately transferred their cuteness into the new being.The results of motherhood can be seen when their child gets to grow up well, with good behavior and accomplishes their own goals. It breaks a mother’s heart for their child to suffer, get involved in dangerous activities or not live to meet her expectations. Some mothers have very high demands of their children and expect them to excel in everything they get their hands on. Some are strict with disciplining their children to conform to a particular behavior. But some mothers choose not to spank their children claiming that they still feel the pangs of labour too harsh to subject their children to any form of pain leaving the child to grow unpruned. Then there are those mothers who do not hesitate to rub it in your face how they suffered in the maternity room and with that you can never tell them anything about raising a child- and they do not appreciate those ladies who have never carried a fetus to challenge them. If children are a gift from God, then motherhood is also a favor by God. Some people have paid to have children while some tried and even successfully stole a baby so as to raise as their own. There are so many reasons why some women cannot get pregnant which may deny them the joy of mother.  Just because someone else has never carried a pregnancy full time does not mean that they are incapable of raising a child. Be king to the childless they can contribute to your motherhood too even though they have not been successful in the delivery room. We appreciate those who did not go for abortions and kept that baby, congratulations for saving a life. A child today is the adult of tomorrow who will be a decision maker and influence others in future. Raising a child is not a one-person duty, ask for help not just form your spouse but from others who have walked similar paths or are in a better position to assist.

How to care personally

Questions have been asked how to tell someone that they need to take better care of their hygiene. I have always assumed how people perceived me because of my appearances and presentation. It brings back memories when someone gave me the bitter pill; you smell, go wash up, shave your armpits and put on some perfume. I did not understand it, because I had had a shower that morning and it was mid-morning already, I did not think I was due for another shower until night. Okay I have a few hairs on the armpits that I prefer them in their natural state-since I heard that once you shave the virgin hairs the secondary or tertiary growth grows ‘haphazardly’. Clearly, I was not affected by my natural fumes, and I took offence that someone had trespassed into my privacy and insinuate that I am not doing a good job taking care of myself. Then I noticed that it was not only one person who felt that way because the door had been opened for others to approach me on the same issue. I had to make a choice, getting shunned or accept to be corrected. I not only shaved my armpits but I got advice on which soaps and deodorant to use. From my experience, people can put up with a bad thing for some time before they gain the courage to take a stand and change the situation. Some relationships have had to be cut off since a partner cannot raise their standards in body management from smelly breath or smelly feet, unkempt hair, sweat, untidiness or dirty laundry. I remember I had a partner who had bad mouth odor while I maintained my private bushes. Neither of us communicated to the other their concerns, we did not last long. When in my early years into puberty, our school started making hygiene checks, mostly on ladies by looking if they had clean underwear, uniform, shiny shoes or lacked lice on their hair. It was embarrassing when we came out of the searching room and the boys would tease us. We had to learn the hard way some things that our moms could not discuss with us or which we lacked proper guidance from home.It may be easier to make a comment on one’s neatness or joke about cleanliness but it is not easy to change someone’s attitude and habits on how not to commit crimes against hygiene.  Breaking to a close member that they need to check on their hygiene standards is not surely an easy task and could make or break personal ties. I will try research on the matter, “Assessing how to lovingly tell someone …” You can fill in the details. I still do not know how to say it, not to a fully grown adult, not without sounding rude or being harsh. I can tell a child to hit the showers or change into clean clothes and command them to brush their teeth, but how do I tell this youth?