UNWARRANTED COURSE

They force your legs open, threaten you not to move nor make a sound, at times they hold a weapon to you or sometimes you may not feel anything or you would be conscious to feel everything that is happening or go in and out of consciousness until it’s over! They are not gentle during this course; the violation, the guilt, the shame- the ordeal! Sometimes it takes minutes, for others days or years. For some it’s perpetrated by an individual, others get a gang. Some are instigated by relatives, friends or strangers. Then comes the chronologists who give their unsolicited opinions and poor investigative reports on the reason it happened: Oh it must be how they dressed, the people they hang around with, they walked during odd hours, they had a poor upbringing or were not raised right and the one that drives the nail in – they asked for it, Ha!Sober or intoxicated, no one likes to be forced into doing something that they don’t want, don’t know or are not prepared for. Why do people force themselves on a conversation, a dress or relationships; relating to this topic - Why do people force their bodies on other people’s body or force items into other people’s crouches. I know what you are thinking at this point, “The topic should have been FORCE”, I won’t force you, though. A little advise before we go on, Do Not Force Issues!They say a problem shared is a problem half solved: How do you tell this story to someone else hoping they understand what you are going through? Will they offer a shoulder to cry on or will they judge? You may still ask, what made you deserve it? It is usually not easy to relive that moment. The comments on the situation make it harder, more so when the victim feels like they are to blame. They do not want your pity either this course cannot be undone. Rest assured, the pain will go away, the scars may never fade, the memory still remains but days go by and one has to live hoping for better experiences, not to erase the nightmares but to birth a new agenda. If you have experienced forced intercourse or any kind of sexual assault, do not despair, you can get through it. Do not beat yourself up, do not be in a hurry either because it takes time. And time is important to heal, to trust and to love again. Learn to love yourself, most importantly forgive yourself; cliché but all true. Trust the process, those scars will seem as beauty marks, eventually. Do not force healing. Do not force forgetting. Do not force forgiveness. These will all be gifts that will be presented to you during the course of life. So don’t give up, don’t be afraid of taking the journey or facing the demons. Those bruises will make sense one day since they sculpture you to touch another person and guide them to rise through the ashes into beauty. The course doesn’t have to be aligned, but it makes the process worthwhile.